Sunday, April 23, 2006

The making of the April 2006 bin Laden tape

The following, of course, is fiction:

Maryland, USA.

General Z - Our last bit of film of Osama, before the 2004 election, worked wonders for the president. I want to congratulate everyone for that.

General X - What are our aims for this new tape?

Colonel Y - Number one: We want to damage these Hamas people. So we try to make a link between Osama and Hamas.

Number two: we want to make it clear that Israel is on our side. We get Osama to rant against 'Zionist Crusaders'. That links Christians and Zionists. Christians are to see Zionists as their buddies.

Number three: our Danish cartoon operation worked well. So we get Osama to stir up the issue once more. We emphasise the link between Moslems and intolerance.

Number four: the president is thinking increasingly about the oil in Africa. The Darfur issue has made Moslem Sudan look less than perfect. So we get Osama to support the Sudan.

Number five: the president's poll numbers keep on sinking. Osama will mention Iraq. That makes the Iraq business look like a fight against Osama.

General Z - Are we still using the same bod to play the part of Osama. He doesn't look quite right to me.

Colonel Y - We're working on it. We'll make the tape quite fuzzy.



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4 comments:

Postman said...

"We'll make the tape quite fuzzy."

The coffee I didn't spill on the keyboard I blurted out all over the screen.

Berthe Morisot said...

It has always struck me as "mighty strange" that a man who could fun the millions required to bring down the twin towers, could not afford to buy a 1/2 decent DV camera from duty free?? Perhaps he got stuck with Betamax!

diochas said...

I laughed when the last tape was released.

"It is of such poor quality", says the BBC, "because he is in a remote part of Pakistan."

ISRAOIL said...

How forgetfull we are--last week,it was revealed that terrorest Zarcowee,was a phonie baloney plant stories by CIA.Now we have the Ben Tapes--Run for your lives!
Note of interest---Flight 93 was intended to hit WTC 7. What brought it down?-not Ben Ladens crew! Even today,most obtuse Americans believe only 2 towers come down. Bennie Israel-the demo king

 
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